I was four years old when my parents split up. Notice I say “split up” because there was never a divorce due to the fact that my parents were never married. My whole life it’s been easier to just say that they were divorced, growing up in a small town a “love child” wasn’t really a thing. But generally, people understood when I said that my parents were no longer together.

When this took place, being a child of divorce still had such a negative connotation to it: at least where I lived. There was a darkness around the fact that you exist but your parents were not together, I might have been young but I sensed it. I never let that negativity touch me but I can see how easily it could affect others. Growing up in a “broken home” people expect you to run wild, have no morals, or just be consumed by the darkness.

Lets take a minute to analyze how the average child feels when their parents relationship is over. Of course they are scared, curious, unsure of what the future will hold for them in this new routine. But I never once blamed myself nor did I see it as an opportunity for two Christmases. I simply saw it as the way that things had to be and accepted my new life with open arms.

There are so many people who use their parents divorce as reason for their trust issues, their deep unresolved problems that now bother them in to adulthood. I just don’t get it, all I want is for the people in my life to be happy and now they are. Sixteen years later I can 100% believe that both of my parents are happy with their lives and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

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